Funny Xmas Jokes and Funny Santa Cat Picture

Xmas Jokes that are Funny!

• What kind of tree do fingers grow on?
  A palm tree.
• Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop? It blew away.
• Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
• What do you get if Santa comes down your chimney when the fire is a alight?
  Crisp Kringle
• Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, 'from Father Xmas.'
  
  A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Xmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no obvious reason.
  
  'What's the matter, Al?' I asked.
  
  'Ummmm', replied Alex slowly, 'I really hoped that you and Mummy would give me something for Xmas'.

Picture of a Cat Dressed up in a Santa Claus Suit.

 FUNNY!

Cute Santa Cat Picture!

More hilarious funny jokes websites:

Newfie Jokes | Worlds Funniest Pictures | Worlds Funniest Jokes Ever | Funny Animal | Jokester

Funny Shark Jokes and Hilarious Carpet Shark Picture

Funny Shark Jokes Funny Picture!

• knock knock
  who's there
  I'm a shark
  a shark who?
  I'm a shark who eaten all your friends and now i'm gonna eat you up
• Question: What is a sharks most favorite science-fiction television show
  Answer: Shark Trekk
• Question: What is a shark's most favorite bible stories
  Answer: Noahs SHARK
• Question: Why did the shark cross the ocean?
  Answer: to get to the other TIDE
• Question: what was the sharks favorite funniest jokes website
  Answer: Dorsal Jokes
• Question: What did the baby shark want for Christmas?
  Answer: Not a thing! Christmas is not celebrated by sharks!

Funny Carpet Shark Picture!

More hilarious funny jokes websites:

Newfie Jokes | Worlds Funniest Pictures | Worlds Funniest Jokes Ever | Funny Animal | Jokester

Funny Mice Jokes and Cute Mouse Picture

Funny Mice Jokes

Why do mice have long tails ? Well, they d look silly with long hair !

How do you save a drowning mouse ? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !

What’s a mouse’s least favorite record ? What’s up Pussycat !

What do rodents say when they play bingo ? Eyes down for a full mouse !

What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer ? Mice cubes !

What have 12 legs, six eyes, three tails and can’t see ? Three blind mice !

Is there a mouse in the house ? No, but there’s a moose on the loose !

What are crisp, like milk and go eek, eek, eek when you eat them ? Mice Krispies !

When should a mouse carry an umbrella ? When it’s raining cats and dogs !

Mission Impossible Mouse
Funny Mouse Picture LOL!

More hilarious funny jokes websites:

Newfie Jokes | Worlds Funniest Pictures | Worlds Funniest Jokes Ever | Funny Animal | Jokester

Funny High Cats Image and Silly Cat Jokes!

Silly Cat Jokes and Hilarious Picture of High Cats!

What does a cat call a bowl of mice? A purrfect meal!

What does a cat do when it gets mad? It has a hissy fit.

What does a cat that lives near the beach have in common with Christmas? Sandy Claws.

What drinks milk, meows, and has eight legs? An octo-puss!

What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool? She had mittens!

What happens when two cats want the same dish of food? They get into a phsssssst fight!

What is a cat's favorite movie? "The Sound of Mewsic."

What is a cat's favorite song? Three Blind Mice

Drugged up Cats? Meow!
Must belong to Cheech and Chong LOL!

More hilarious funny jokes websites:

Newfie Jokes | Worlds Funniest Pictures | Worlds Funniest Jokes Ever | Funny Animal | Jokester

Funny Dogs and Light Bulbs Joke and Cute Pic!

Funny Dogs and Light Bulbs Jokee!!

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. Then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Rottweiler: Make me!

Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls.

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Mastiff: Screw it yourself! I'm not afraid of the dark...

Doberman: While it's out, I'll just take a nap on the couch.

Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb?

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs -- people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again?

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?

More funny pictures, hilarious videos,web clips,

 gifs, animations, jokes, status updates, and more at 

World's Funniest Pictures

Show me Where the Bullies Are!

More hilarious funny jokes websites:

Newfie Jokes | Worlds Funniest Pictures | Worlds Funniest Jokes Ever | Funny Animal | Jokester